


Poison

by BloodMeringue



Series: This isn't Over [1]
Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Angst, Death, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Songfic, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 04:29:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12741030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodMeringue/pseuds/BloodMeringue
Summary: On the night of my fifteenth birthday, after that terrible fucking family dinner, you let me have my first drink. Well, my first seven or eight. It gave me courage to do the one thing I’d been thinking about for months. I kissed you, Rick, and you kissed back. It was the first of many, and it’s one of my happiest memories. I felt so loved. It was so brief, but it gave me a taste for the unknown, a taste for you.Morty POV. Song Fic. Poison by Front Porch Step.





	Poison

_ They say the heart only wants what it can't have, _

_ So I guess your hand in mine will never fit. _

_ 'cause if I could find my heart inside this empty frozen chest, _

_ Then you would find that I'd give you all of it. _

 

I looked at the shitty camera sitting in front of me, and I took a deep breath.

 

**_Begin Recording_ **

 

To Anyone Willing to Listen,

 

“If anyone ever finds out, I’ll have to leave, Morty.” 

I never took what Rick said when it all started seriously. I was fifteen. I had no reason to. Rick could fix anything. He could do everything. He was my hero, and on my fifteenth birthday, he became my lover, or I became his because Rick never really belonged to me. He never belonged to anyone.  

 

Not even himself.

 

_ You stole the matches from my book. _

_ Put out the fire in my eyes. _

_ You cause a thunder in my veins when you're around. _

_ You make me wish that I would die. _

 

On the day Beth introduced me to my grandfather, in her teary eyed state, I knew my life was going to change. I didn’t know how, but I knew. At the time, all I thought was that maybe,  **_just possibly_ ** , I’d finally have someone in the family that would love me. I wouldn’t just be an afterthought to him. I was wrong of course, but I only realized that after you left, Rick. 

 

Our relationship started out as simple as it could have, between a Morty and a Rick. A Rick and  _ His  _ Morty. Simple jobs. Ransacking abandoned ships. Shoving those god awful megaseeds up my butt. A few trips to Blips and Chitz. I hadn’t realized it, but our relationship would quickly take a dark turn. Not the worst yet, but still, it was enough to drive even more of a wedge between myself and my humanity. 

 

Our simple jobs quickly turned into mass murder and genocide. The simple relationship I had hoped for had become a bloodbath, and even to this day, I don’t regret it. It made me more like you. I guess blowing up entire planets and taking part in a cleansing will do that to a person.

 

After I met Unity, something in me changed. I no longer just saw you as my grandfather, I saw you as a man who had been a lover to hundreds, maybe even thousands.  My dreams went from Jessica and other human things, to you. Just you, Rick. At first, they were just of our adventures. Our wonderful, bloody adventures. After your stay in galactic prison, they turned sexual. That’s when it started. That’s when your leaving and my end started. 

 

_ And I can't hear you calling out my name, _

_ But I still feel your breath across my neck, driving me insane. _

_ And you don't love me, so how do you explain? _

_ You walk away from my life when you live inside my brain, live inside my brain. _

 

On the night of my fifteenth birthday, after that terrible fucking family dinner, you let me have my first drink. Well, my first seven or eight. It gave me courage to do the one thing I’d been thinking about for months. I kissed you, Rick, and you kissed back. It was the first of many, and it’s one of my happiest memories. I felt so  _ loved _ . It was so brief, but it gave me a taste for the unknown, a taste for you. 

I gotta admit, it was awkward between Rick and I for a few days. I mean hell, how would you react when your damn grandson tries to put the moves on you when you’re both drunk? 

It’s really too bad we didn’t just forget about it. It’s a fucking shame, really. 

 

After that, our relationship took another turn. It wasn’t just grandson and grandfather. It was all or nothing, and we both decided it had to be all. I gave Rick everything, and I gave it to him willingly. I know no one understands it, and no one understands why, but I don’t expect you to. I don’t even understand it myself, and I fucking started it. 

 

Our relationship went on for three years, and during those years, he took everything I had to give. I was just happy that Rick was willing to look at me, touch me, do anything to or for me. I thought I was loved by you, Rick. I thought you finally and truly gave a shit for someone. You constantly came to my aid. You saved me when you didn’t need to. I was special, or that’s the way I made myself think. You didn’t just let me die, and you didn’t replace me. 

 

_ I thought you came to kiss my lips, _

_ But you brought your shovel and your tarp. _

_ The voice that once became the light into my dark, _

_ Soon became your tool to break my heart. _

 

It was perfect. My life felt so completely and utterly perfect for the first time in my life. During those three years, I was so happy. Despite all of the blood, and even with the constant fear of being caught, I was in heaven. My own twisted and totally fucked version of the place. 

 

Fake happiness can’t last forever, can it? 

 

_ And I can't hear you calling out my name, _

_ But I still feel your breath across my neck, driving me insane. _

_ And you don't love me, so how do you explain? _

_ You walk away from my life when you live inside my brain, live inside my brain. _

 

Our end finally came the night of my eighteenth birthday. Beth and Summer were going to a concert the next day. They left after dinner, and were going to stay in a hotel overnight. So, after they had left, Rick and I decided it was a fantastic fucking idea to get shit faced and fuck on the couch. It would have been the perfect night if mom and Sum hadn’t forgotten the concert tickets, but they forgot them. 

 

We didn’t have any time to react, or a way to just play it off. 

 

_ Eat my heart for breakfast. _

_ Taste its tainted blood. _

_ Feel your precious poison start to fill its maker's veins _

_ So you can start to feel your so called love. _

 

And just like that, it was over. It was all over. Rick left that night, and he hasn’t been back since. Beth blames me, Jerry thinks I’m a depraved piece of shit, and Summer left a few weeks after. She couldn’t deal with it. Mom won’t deal with it, and my dad is a fucking idiot. 

 

Now? Now we’re here. 

 

I’m at the end of the line, and I’m alone. I don’t think you’ll ever hear this, Rick. I don’t even think you care.  You never really did, did you? I was just a toy, and no one really gives a shit when an easily replaceable toy breaks. Not even when they’re human. Now when it’s a Morty.

 

_ And I can't hear you calling out my name, _

_ But I still feel your breath across my neck, driving me insane. _

_ And you don't love me, so how do you explain? _

_ You walk away from my life when you live inside my brain, live inside my brain. _

 

I really did love you. I still do. You’re the worst part of me, but you’re the only part of me I’ve ever loved. You were my everything. Before you, I was nothing, and after? I’m even less than that.  

 

Now that all of that’s out of the way, I want all of my shit burned. All of it. None of you ever cared enough to deserve to save anything of mine. I’m just a waste of fucking space to all of you. 

 

That’s it. That’s all I had to say. 

 

I don’t love any of you, but I thought you deserved to know this at least.

 

Goodbye.

 

**_End Recording_ **

 

I shut off the screen, and sat the camera on my dresser. I plopped down on my bed and looked around my room one last time.

 

“This is it. This is really it.” 

 

I reached under my pillow and shakily pulled the 9mm out.

  
“I love you, Rick.”

**Author's Note:**

> I had to write my own garbage. Yikes.


End file.
